What Next? Wine for Republicans?

By Tom Wark

Once or twice per week the general news media seems to latch on to a wine-related story that has hit the wires. I spend a bit of time with these kinds of stories, looking at them and determining what made them of interest to editors scanning the wires for filler stories.

This week the story of the moment is Macho Wine”. that is, wine aimed at men.

I know, turnabout is fair play, right? Weve had a rash of stories about wine for women so why not a wine specifically for men — which of course means it must be a macho wine.

The point of this story, which you will find all over the place if you search Google, is that wine marketers are looking for any niche they can find to sell more wine and men now appear to be a niche.

Evidence? Rays Station Winerys new ad campaign aimed at men; Ravenswoods No Wimpy Wines slogan; the sponsorship of Nascar racing by wineries.

Why not? I mean, we can go on carving up the market forever looking for that niche that will sell more wine. God knows theres enough surplus wine out there to fill up any specialized target market. So, Im predicting a number of new wines aimed at that special niche:

The Gay Wine: Produced by Brokeback Winery. The perfect wedding wine.

The Lesbian Wine: Produced by ODonnell-DeGeneres Vineyards, promises to be much easier to tolerate than other niche wines. However, men are likely to enjoy this wine, too.

The Republican Wine: Produced by Chateau Beaver Cleaver and promising a wine of unimpeachable qualities and with the added value of never being taxed.

The Democrat Wine: Produced by Coastal Wine Company, not available in Fly Over Country, only offering the 1992 and 1996 vintage, and likely to be taxed at a higher rate.

The Last Wine: Produced by Deaths Door Cellars and promising bigger bottles with mugs attached to the bottle and with high alcohol for those who just dont care because they wont be around too much longer anyway.

The Journalist Wine: Produced By The Fifth Estate and promising a mainstream experience that you can both drink as well as line your cats litter box with.

The Wine-Blogger Wine: Produced By Chateau Ouinobest: A brash, acidic young wine. Available only online.

I can’t wait to see what comes next.

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Reader Comments

A good 20 years ago in Santa Barbara County Dr. Jim Carey, of Carey Cellars, was a Democratic candidate for Congress. He released a wine called “Recession Red”. The next year Brooks Firestone, a Republican, offered “Prosperity Red”. Both wines had lovely ’30s-style socialist realist labels. They were a hoot! Duelling wineries.